Nighttime Hosts Lampoon Trump's Latest 'Gold Card' Immigration Plan

Television's leading entertainers used their airtime criticizing former President Donald Trump's newly unveiled immigration initiative, dubbed the "golden visa," portraying it as a clear cash-for-residency scheme for the affluent.

Colbert's Sarcastic Analysis

Opening his program, Stephen Colbert offered a satirical holiday song targeting the commander-in-chief. "He's making a list, checking it twice, before handing that list to the people at ICE," he crooned. "The President ... spoils all he comes into contact with."

Colbert's target was the new program which allows foreign individuals to buy U.S. residency for a sum of one million dollars, with a "top-tier" option for $5 million. A government portal promises approval "faster than ever."

"One note for you to affluent immigrants: prior to you pay, what about Canada?" Colbert joked.

He explained that the card is also intended to "squeeze cash" from businesses wanting to hire foreign workers, involving hefty costs. "That's a lot of fees, but if you sign up, you additionally get a complimentary stay at a property of your choosing – if it's the Tampa Marriott Bonvoy," he added.

"The most thorough background check the U.S. government has before done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to ensure these individuals absolutely qualify to be in America."

"That's important, you have to prove you're qualified to be an American," Colbert said dryly. "Question one: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Scathing Commentary

On his own program, Jimmy Kimmel referred to the initiative the "American Dream Express Card."

"This is a card that will let affluent international individuals to live here," he said. "In exchange for a million dollars, you get legal visitor status, you get a pathway to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one serious crime of your choosing."

"Perhaps it's time to change that inscription on the Statue of Liberty – to hell with your poor masses. Pay a million bucks, you're in!" he added.

Kimmel teased the lack of detail of the application, noting it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He said that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a steak."

"Exactly, the top people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "That's what Jesus always said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you offer the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers discussing Affordability Concerns

Elsewhere, Seth Meyers focused on Trump's slipping approval ratings amid economic anxiety. "People gave Donald Trump a another term since they were angry about the economy," he noted.

Recently, in a effort to discuss affordability, Trump held a briefing in front of a array of food items, and behaved oddly to some cereal.

"Lovely packaging, I think I'm going to take some of them back to my place and have a lot of fun," Trump said. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a long time."

"He is so incredibly weird," Meyers responded. "What do you mean, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What exactly happens with those Cheerios?"

Meyers finished by criticizing conservative media coverage of Trump's economic performance. "Perhaps rather than complaining, you should give him a sparkling trophy like the one FIFA did," he laughed.